ROCKFORD, Ill. (WIFR) – In Illinois, men are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide than women, according to state health data.
Experts say they believe it’s because men don’t seek out mental health resources.
“I think one of the biggest steps for men is acknowledging when there is a problem,” said Lighthouse Counseling owner and psychologist Jason Soriano.
Soriano blames unhealthy masculine norms, pointing to phrases like “man up,” “toughen up,” and “suck it up” that have been ingrained in men since childhood.
“It’s associated with ‘has to be strong,’ ‘have to be resilient’ and mental health is often one of those elements correlated with a sense of weakness,” said Soriano.
He says these stigmas limit men’s experiences and ability to share negative emotions.
Rosecrance Medical Director Dr. John Cummins also talks about the mindsets being passed down from generation to generation.
“Using substances to numb oneself, lashing out in anger instead of dealing with frustration and pain in more healthy or productive more constructive ways. This is kind of part of what is constructed to be a man in American and western society,” said Cummins. “With those kind of huge expectations in place and with the consequences that come from not following those expectations we end up with these really, really deeply set patterns.”
To Cummins, therapy isn’t a sign of weakness and those in need shouldn’t be scared to reach out for help.
“I’m not gonna use the term masc [masculine]. I’m not going to use the term feminine, I’m going to use the term strength because I think when we put things into gender roles, we end up kind of reiterating the same problem,” said Cummins.
Budget cuts to mental health programs and lack of insurance can compound the problem. However, Soriano says if you’re in a jam there is help.
“Men’s groups through religious organizations, men’s groups that you know from online, even just local men’s groups that find ways of doing activities but also find a way to support one another,” said Soriano.
Cummins says no matter what insurance you have, you can call Rosecrance if you need of help.
“We’re supporting our husbands, our fathers, our brothers, our friends to make sure they know that it’s not just acceptable but it’s almost an expectation that you’re not supposed to take on everything on your own. We’re interconnected, were here to support each other,” said Cummins.
Both recommend calling the suicide and crisis lifeline, 988, if you or someone you know is feeling overwhelmed or experiencing a mental health or substance use crisis.
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